


The Tests of Fate

by 2_Ava



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, But not explicit because they're children, But the world's a shit show, Dystopia, I smashed every YA novel I've ever read into this garbage, M/M, Mentions of sexual activity, So they don't really have the time, The YA Novel AU that literally NO ONE asked for, They're all kind of in love with each other, You're Welcome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-01-30 13:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21428686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2_Ava/pseuds/2_Ava
Summary: Years ago - as a means of combating an increasing population and decreasing resources - the government denounced that tests of aptitude would determine those most profitable to a society trying to rebuild itself.As the tests loom nearer for Roger and his best friends, he begins to consider his life - and those in it - in a new light, as he ponders the likelihood of his survival.
Relationships: Brian May/Freddie Mercury, Freddie Mercury/Roger Taylor, John Deacon/Brian May, John Deacon/Brian May/Freddie Mercury/Roger Taylor, John Deacon/Freddie Mercury, John Deacon/Roger Taylor
Comments: 18
Kudos: 41





	1. -one-

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all!  
So this is definitely the oddest thing I've written - considering pretty much everything else I write is like kiiinda canon idk. But this has been in my head for a few weeks now and I just had to word vomit it out. It's basically all the YA novels I've ever read smashed together; so, if that's not your cup of tea, I'd suggest hitting the back button now. 
> 
> I haven't entirely worked out the story/character's trajectories (just an overarching idea), so please let me know what you think and where you'd like to see it all go. 
> 
> Much love, Ava :) x

Years ago - as a means of combating an increasing population and decreasing resources - the government denounced that tests of aptitude would determine those most profitable to a society trying to rebuild itself. 

Roger’s mother had always told him not to worry about it: 

_”No matter how much you stress or obsess about the past or the future, you can’t change either one. In the present is where your power lies.”_

They were words Roger knew like his own name, quoted from some poet, long forgotten to a world where such aristocratic pleasantries were warranted. 

Whilst Roger appreciated his mother’s kind and assuring words, it was hard to take advice from the adults in his life - they were the lucky ones, after all. The ones smart enough, or strong enough, or useful enough to “deserve” the rest of their lives - so, what truthfully did they know about a lesser fate. Roger’s mother has been six years old when “the tests” - as they had been so inventively named - were introduced, so she had known little of a life without them. Roger’s grandmother however, had told him stories as a kid about what life was like being impoverished and without enough food for everyone. You’d think by the way she described her own childhood, that a warm bed and food on the table every night was enough for her contentment at their way of life. But, Roger had also heard her curse the test, calling them a horrible combative measure - she’d lost all but one to them. 

Roger walked down the hallway of their simple school, trying to pretend that his looming 18th birthday wasn’t his death certificate hanging in his family home, decorating their fireplace like the several others. There was always the sombre or anxious senior kids milling around at this time of the year, but Roger had never expected how heavy the feeling in his own stomach would actually be. 

He slid himself through the group of first years, crowding the doorway to look at a cast list posted for the school musical. Roger thought it to be a little macabre that the country’s attempt to “rebuild” itself saw two complete parallels - unprecedented teen slaughter, and _Oklahoma!_

Roger managed to squeeze himself past the exuberant youngsters, somewhat wishing he still possessed the same gusto. In truth, the school musicals, and citing fairs, and town bonfire nights - they were all just a welcome distraction. Come 16, most kids forwent the lead in West Side Story, in favour of studying or going for a run. It was a solemn truth that Roger had long ago come to accept. 

As he made it into the senior study hall, more a seas of noses in books than anything else, he quietly slipped into the seat beside John, bumping the younger man to drive his attention from his notebook to Roger. 

“What, Roger?” John muttered, his eyes not even flickering from the pages of his colour coded history of the world. 

“How do you do that?” Roger queried, a small smile on his face as he leant against the table, determined to get John to at least glance at him. 

“You are the only person I know that would walk into study hall without a notebook two weeks before the tests.” John muttered, but with no malice in his voice. “I’d also know that knee bouncing hard enough to hit me in the face anywhere.” John smirked, reaching down from the table to place an assuring hand on Roger’s leg, incessant on moving.

~~~~~~~~

If Roger was one extreme - not bothering to study or master the art of hard labour - then John was the other. John had spent his entire life studying for the tests. Well, not exactly “studying”; but John had been determined to be considered smart enough to be an asset - and he was. John was easily the smartest person Roger knew - and if John’s intelligence wasn’t enough aptitude, then Roger didn’t think he’d even bother taking the tests. John’s necessity to be prepared however, had seen him lose it a little in the last few years. He’d always been aware of the inherent need to excel, but the pressure surmounting on him was starting to make him a bit of a sociopath, as Roger had told him many times before.

It wasn’t that Roger didn’t want John to study and do well, but he didn’t like seeing one of his best friends turn down the opportunity to see a movie, or just go for a walk, in order to incessantly study. As his mother had always sad, “in the present is where your power lies”; not that Roger would ever quote such drawl to John - he’d always been much more of an ‘annoy until they relent’ kind of guy. Despite that, Roger saw some truth in his mother’s words - if they didn’t all come out on the other side, what a waste of a childhood spent studying. 

Whilst that was a philosophy Roger considered reasonable, it was one Freddie lived by. Since the moment Freddie’s parents and teachers had begun stressing the importance of the tests, Freddie had been a loose canon. Whether it was skipping class, sleeping around, or just having complete disregard for what he should have been doing, Freddie outwardly possessed little care for the future. Outwardly being key in the matter; Roger knew Freddie better than that - so much better. In fact, it had been immediately following one of these moments of careless abandon that Roger had accompanied Freddie on - the escapade ending in a mess of sheets and little clothing - that Freddie had opened up to him. 

“I don’t think I have what it takes… I don’t have anything they want.” Freddie whispered, as if the older man wasn’t sure he wanted Roger to hear the words he spoke. Roger glanced over at Freddie, his brows furrowed; not in confusion, he knew exactly what Freddie was referring to. 

“Fred… that- that’s not true.” Roger mumbled, using his arm behind Freddie’s head to pull him closer. 

“It is, Roger.” Freddie muttered back. His voice wasn’t teary or worked-up; he was more resigned than anything else - and that hurt Roger more than any tears could have. He wasn’t sure what to say, he simply ran a hand over Freddie’s arm. “I’m not a genius, or an athlete… or rich enough to be neither.” Freddie muttered, scoffing a little as he adjusted himself to look at Roger. Roger knew he was talking about Brian; sometimes they all found it a little hard to not get frustrated with Brian and his leeway to be so nonchalant. 

Brian’s dad was the city’s “Commissioner of the Peace”, which made him a glorified coroner. In actuality, it was his job to witness and confirm the lives lost each year after the tests, and every year he appeared outside the screening house where the tests take place and read the names of the fortunate as they processed to their families. Roger could recite John’s monologue about how it was “disrespectful to not even read the names of those who died, as if the world is really better off without them.'' - his small voice echoed through Roger’s mind as he thought about it. Brian’s father’s job - considered one of the most coveted honours - had made Brian’s family very wealthy. Brian was afforded the luxury of tutors and coaches, specialised in the tests. But, despite all that, Roger knew that even if Brian didn’t have what it took, his father would pay someone to change that - no doubt. It often made Brian’s worries unprecedented, but Roger, Freddie and John had spent many years doing their best to not throw it in Brian’s face if he were feeling nervous. 

“It’s not his fault.” Roger whispered, trying to play devil’s advocate before Freddie could go off on some dramatic tirade. “I think you’re getting yourself a little prematurely worked up.” Roger mumbled. “Who knows if being a genius or an athlete is even going to help? Could be a test on how well you can play pick up sticks.” Roger smirked, glancing down at Freddie with a cheeky grin, their still slightly clammy bodies pressed together. 

“Yes, Roger… I’m sure they’re on vigilant look out for teenagers who have mastered the vital art of pick up sticks.” Freddie chuckled, rolling his eyes. 

“Okay, that was a bit stupid.” Roger chuckled in return. “But, you know what I mean. We don’t know what they’re looking for, so you never know if you have what they want.” Roger whispered, leaning down to press a gentle kiss on Freddie’s forehead.

It was just another hard truth of the world they lived in. Despite the tests being one of the most prevalent parts of society, they were absolutely taboo after the fact. Once the line of relieved teenagers processed from the screening house, everyone was forbidden from talking about the tests, and silence fell over cities everywhere as parents and siblings hid their respective grief and alleviation. Along with this, was the indomitably instructed rule to never discuss the content or outcomes of the tests after the fact. Hearsay was always rampant, and even encouraged in the years leading up, but once the tests were completed, any conference was considered verbal contraband, and was punishable by a fate “worse than a miscarried test”, as Roger had heard Brian’s father say before. Because of this, no one who hadn’t yet encountered the tests - and were now forbidden from discussing it - knew what was in them. The tests were outlined as ‘multifold tests of aptitude, inspecting numerous and complex characteristics and skills in order to accomplish a diversified and fully-developed society’. The garb alone took Roger many tries - and many explanations from John - to fully understand. Many kids banked on the fact that such ‘characteristics and skills’ aligned with intelligence and physical fitness; and years of fortunate test-takers had somewhat proved this. Year after year astute and agile kids processed out of the screening house. However, every year, kids with no such discernible skills - or any skills for that matter - followed them. Roger had badgered his mother a few years ago, when a girl who had lost both her legs in an accident and was never known to be particularly smart was granted clemency. Without so much as a moment of consideration, Roger’s mother shushed him, and ushered him away. The look in her eyes - that he couldn’t quite place, but upset his stomach - made sure Roger never asked about the tests again 

Roger’s eyes flicked down to where Freddie wore the smallest of smiles, but his eyes read worry. 

“You have plenty of talents, Fred. They’d be silly not to choose you.” Roger whispered, trying his best to smile confidently at him. 

“The only thing that I have plenty of, is teeth.” Freddie smirked. “I doubt that’s a desirable characteristic.” He whispered, adjusting to lay his head on Roger’s chest. Roger chuckled a little, running his hand over Freddie’s hair. 

“You never know.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

“You need to lay off the coffee.” John whispered, a nervy smile on his face as he removed his hand from Roger’s thigh.

“You need to lay off the homework.” Roger whispered back, uncomfortably close to John’s ear. Just as Roger and John were due to get into another lengthy discussion about how important the next two weeks were, Freddie and Brian made their way into the study hall. Classes were always largely optional - and widely disregarded by the seniors - at this time of the year. Instead, the study halls and school oval were taken over by various apprehensive students, trying their best to simulate tests they knew nothing about. Roger had heard of a ‘black market’ type deal, where for copious amounts of money, students could go and practice in facilities set up to replicate the actual testing process. Roger often wondered if Brian had ever done something like that, but was far too scared of the repercussions of even knowing about such a thing to ask.

Brian and Freddie slid into the seats across from them, both men reaching into their book bags. Freddie pulled out a gorgeously decorated notebook, and Roger prayed to a deity he wasn’t sure he believed in, that art was a desirable trait. He opened it and began quietly reading notes that Roger couldn’t make out for the life of him. Brian pulled out his own notebook, placing it on the table before him and putting his head in his hands. Roger saw as Freddie held back an eye roll, while John leaned forward a little. 

“You right?” John questioned, his hand on Brian’s arm. Brian nodded slightly, dragging his hands down his face and looking over at John and Roger. 

“I umm… I met up with my tutor last night.” Brian began, his hands moving to fiddle with his book - Roger could see how much he was shaking. “She said I’m not performing at a high enough standard.” Brian mumbled, his voice cracking a little. Silence fell over their group; of course the three others were concerned for Brian, but more so his mental state that his unlikely chances of being miscarried. “I don’t know what to do… the tests are in two weeks. What more _can_ I do?” Brian mumbled; Roger could see how strongly he was holding back tears. “I just umm… I think I’m going to go talk to Miss Nelson.” He muttered, before getting up and disappearing without thinking to take his book bag to ‘see the teacher’. 

“Poor Brian.” John mumbled, a genuine frown on his face.

“He’ll be fine. He’s got the modern equivalent of god on his side… daddy.” Freddie muttered, glancing back down at his book, with a solemn look on his face. John sighed softly, looking to his own books. 

“Roger; did you even bring books with you?” John mumbled, his eyes not flicking up from where he was reading.

“They’re in my locker.” Roger chuckled, his tone light. 

“Do you think you should get them out of your locker and study?” John questioned, still not looking at his friend. 

“Why? Like Brian said: what can you do? If I don’t know it now, I’m not going to know it in two weeks.” Roger mumbled, still seemingly without a care in the world. It was at this point that John looked up at him. 

“Roger…” John whispered, pushing his book away to turn and look at the older man. “Don’t do this… please don’t pretend you don’t care.” John sighed, his hands fiddling nervously. Roger looked at the younger man; he’d only just turned 17, and by “test” standards, he was young. But the test “must be taken at the test of aptitude prior to the child turning 18 years of age”, meaning John couldn’t sit his next year. Roger stared at John, feeling a pang of guilt run through him. John may have become somewhat of a recluse as of late, seemingly only concerned for his own results, but it was obvious that he wanted Roger to succeed. 

“Okay, okay - I’m sorry.” Roger whispered with an earnest nod. John smile slightly and turned back to his book, scooting closer to Roger so they were pressed against each other. 

“Here - you can use my notes. What do you want to work on? I’ve got history, geography or biology?” John questioned, gesturing to some tabs stuck from his book. Roger thought for a moment, glancing at Freddie, whose eyebrows were wiggling salaciously. Roger rolled his eyes, knowing this was a topic of conversation they’d broached before. 

_”You know he fancies you, right?” Freddie practically sung, both men standing in Freddie’s room getting ready for that evening community event - some upmarket street party near Brian’s house. Roger had mentioned to Freddie that John had asked if they’d wanted to go together - completely platonic, Roger thought. _

_“John? The only thing John fancies is his textbook.” Roger chuckled, fluffing his hair in the mirror. It was about 18 months from their tests, and it was at this point that the communal fun began to slow down, and the need to study ramped up._

_“If that’s what you want to believe.” Freddie smirked, now lounging on his bed while Roger tended to his locks. Roger turned to the older man, gesturing to his hairdo for confirmation; Freddie gave him a quick nod. _

_“Does it make you jealous?” Roger questioned, eyeing Freddie with a smirk. Freddie let out an audacious laugh, standing up to move himself face-to-face with Roger. _

_“Honey… I don’t think John likes you how I like you.” He smirked, reaching around to slap Roger’s bum before pecking his lips and floating over to where he had a small collection of makeup. Roger chuckled as he rolled his eyes, replacing Freddie in a lavish position on the bed. _

“Maybe… maybe biology.” Roger said softly, his eyes still on Freddie. Roger shook his head a little, trying to ensure Freddie kept his mouth shut. Freddie just shot him a cheeky smile before returning to his notebook. Roger slowly re-engaged in focusing as John quietly explained a few things to Roger. He appreciated John’s assistance, but the more he thought about the outcome of the two weeks, he wasn’t sure it was worth the stress.


	2. -two-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter - it's all very "set up" right now, but I promise it gets more exciting. 
> 
> Let me know if there's anything you want to see! :)

Roger tried to give John the benefit of at least _seeing_ him study. But, the tests were only a week and a half away, and he really felt that any work he was putting in this late, would likely be in vain. 

“Do you think they’ll need painters? Or musicians? They’re trying to make a more profitable future - a renaissance, if you will. Painters and musicians were supposedly abundant in the renaissance.” Freddie rambled as they walked down the hall to get some lunch. Roger could see that John was trying to think of something to respond with that was at least somewhat hopeful. 

“Maybe, Fred.” John whispered, eyes diverting to his feet. 

“They need people to design infrastructure… you’d be good at that.” Roger assured. “You’d also make a great director for all the musicals they want to put on around here. They’d be stupid not to hire you - you were so good in _Cats_.” Roger chuckled, nudging Freddie gently. The older man chuckled, rolling his eyes a little as he moved over to where his locker was. John was standing a little further away, and Roger found himself stopping beside the younger boy. 

“I really admire how positive you are.” John whispered, leaning against Roger slightly, seemingly to not have to speak loudly. “Not just for your own sake, either.” He added, a sweet smile on his face. “I couldn’t be so humane and charitable at a time like this.” John said solemnly. Roger smiled sadly down at the younger man. 

“You’re dealing with this in your own way, John.” Roger mumbled, wrapping an arm around him. “Besides, I wouldn’t swap ‘smart’ for ‘nice’ - you’ve got a guaranteed spot in the rest of your life, come next Thursday.” Roger chuckled, giving John a genuine smile. 

“It’s not all about being a genius.” Brian muttered, leaning against the locker beside Freddie’s. Brian has been in a foul mood since last week, when he’d been told ‘he didn’t have what it takes’. All three of them looked over to him, brows furrowed in confusion, considering previous years’ tests had proved otherwise. “It’s not just about being book smart. You can read all the encyclopaedias in the world; but if you’re not handy, or have common sense - you’re fucked.” Brian snapped. Roger was a little taken aback by Brian’s collection of recent outbursts. He understood it was a tense time for everyone, but even in times of utter turmoil, Brian usually remained rather benevolent. Teachers had always mentioned that he possessed a mannerism that would have made him perfect for his father’s job one day. Roger couldn’t have imagined Brian ever doing something so vile or despicable, but he also knew that wasn’t how Brian saw his father’s job - in fact, he idolised his father and everything he stood for. 

“God.” Freddie muttered. “Someone’s having a day.” He added, rolling his eyes as he walked away. John was quick to follow, scampering off to walk with Freddie. 

“That was a bit unnecessary.” Roger said quietly, no hint of judgement in his voice. Trust - every part of him wanted to cuss Brian out; it was what he did best. But at this time of the year - and their lives - it didn’t seem worth the while. Roger gave him a quick gesture with his head, starting to walk towards Freddie and John. Brian followed suit quickly, and a little guiltily. 

As they reached the lunch table, Roger slid into the seat beside Freddie, Brian sitting across from him and beside John. 

“Glad you caught up, Rog. I was trying to get John all excited about the party next week, but _apparently_ he’s not going.” Freddie said seriously, eyeing John with fake contempt. 

“I’m sorry, Fred - but I’ve got more important things to worry about on the night before the more important day of my life.” John mumbled, a hint of sass threatening to hit back at Freddie. 

“Like what?” Freddie questioned, eyebrows raised petulantly at the younger man. 

“Oh, I don’t know - study maybe? Get a good night's sleep so that I don’t walk into the test like a zombie!” John practically spat, a surprising outburst considering his usually well-manner self. “I’m sorry, Fred.” John added, almost immediately. “It’s not that I don’t want to hang out with you guys - I just don’t think I’ll be very much fun the night before the tests.” John mumbled, cheeks a little flushed - likely from his previous flare-up. 

“You’re not going to come?” Roger questioned sadly, definitely butting in when it wasn’t necessary. He saw John every day, and the party was sanctioned by the body that oversaw the tests of aptitude, meaning it wasn’t like it was any kind of raging affair. But, some part of him - the part of him that tried his best to be a normal teenager - was excited about seeing him there. 

Roger had never thought about the prospects of relationships; his mother liked to remind him that such was something reserved for once they had turned eighteen - lest they get disappointed by the outcomes of the tests. Roger had done a decent job of abiding by that. Of course, he and Freddie had fooled around plenty; he and Brian had even ended up a little too close with too few items of clothing after a particularly wild party in the fields, but he’d never considered his _feelings_ in all of it - not the ones that didn’t reside betwixt his legs, anyway. Maybe it was because he and John _hadn’t_ fooled around, that he maintained a sweeter innocence with regard to his friend. Maybe it was that what drew Roger to John in the first place was the way he spoke, and what they talked about; unlike his and Freddie’s shared promiscuity and Brian’s ability to sneak fancy alcohol that his dad would hardly miss. Regardless though, he knew not to think about those things too deeply until after the tests - but, the more the week progressed, the more Roger thought he might never get the chance. 

John bit his lip, still very unsure about spending what could be the last night of his life, having a party. Roger could sense this exact reasoning behind John’s eyes - eyes he’d watched panic since they were all just five years old. “If I don’t survive these tests, you think I want to have spent my last day studying? That’s crap.” Roger smirked, eyeing John down. 

“Plus; it’s the only night of the year that we don’t have a curfew - don’t you want to take advantage of that?” Brian added, a small smile on his face. 

“Speak for yourself!” Freddie interrupted. “I don’t have a curfew.” He grinned, leaning against the table. 

“You still have a curfew.” John assured. “You just don’t abide by it.” He teased, eyeing Freddie up and down. 

“Which is going to get you in a lot of trouble, by the way.” Brian added, semi-seriously. “My father genuinely thinks I talk to trees that _climb in an out of my window_!” He muttered, a hint of ‘lip’ in his voice. Roger looked towards Freddie with an eye, as if questioning what he was doing in and out of Brian’s windows after curfew. Freddie just gave him a quick wink. 

“Does that make you jealous?” He whispered almost inaudibly, mimicking the question Roger posed him not two weeks ago. Roger just rolled his eyes, lightly kicking Freddie under the table. They both laughed softly, Brian and John looked at them with considerable confusion, and just as much concern. 

“Do you guys want to go grab some lunch?” Roger queried, trying to change the subject before they had to discuss their cross-coitus affairs. Freddie and Brian gave a humbled nod, John simply shaking his head with eyes cast to the table. “You not hungry, John?” Roger questioned, trying to lower his own head a little to be in John’s view. 

“No… M’not feeling great. I might head home early.” John mumbled, his hand tucked underneath the table. Roger’s brows knitted together; it was unlike John to turn down having lunch with everyone, and it practically preposterous for him to even _consider_ going home early. 

“You alright?” Roger mumbled, looking at him from diagonally across the table. 

“Why don’t Brian and I go and get everyone something to eat, and you two can stay and talk?” Freddie questioned, already standing up. Roger could see John was attempting to object when Freddie swiftly turned away from him and towards the kitchen. Roger made hast in shuffling over so he was sitting directly across from John. 

“What’s going on?” Roger questioned, his voice soft and hopeful as caring as he was trying to be. 

“It’s nothing - I’m just tired.” John whispered, leaning up against Roger. Roger was starting to think that John’s tendency to lean on him the way he did, came far more from a need to feel comforted than a need to hear the older man. 

“John… just tell me what’s going on - please?” Roger whispered, leaning down to press a gentle kiss on his forehead. He watched as John’s eyes shot open, large and pointed directly at Roger. “Sorry.” He whispered, his voice coated with an essence of charm, something that Roger had always been so well known for. 

John sat up a little, eyes falling on Roger.

“What if Brian’s right?” He whispered, hands find solace in Roger’s own. The older man made a point to squeeze them, trying to offer as much assurance as possible. “What if it’s not about being smart? Being smart is all I have, Roger.” John whispered, his face flushed as his eyes a little damp. Roger couldn’t help but frown; he wasn’t sure what to tell John, given that he really didn’t know what to expect, come next week. 

“You’re not _just_ smart, John.” Roger said seriously. “You’re kind and you’re handy - you’re practically already an electrician. You have nothing to worry about.” Roger whispered, with nothing but seriousness in his tone. 

“Are you sure?” John whispered, and Roger could feel how badly his hands were shaking. 

“John… I _promise_ that nothing bad is going to happen to you - I won’t let it.” Roger assured, and he knew he’d do everything in his power to keep that promise.


	3. -three-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll  
Here's a new chapter of this thing that feels like a fever dream projected into writing. I have all these chapters of stuff I've started that I - for some reason - just don't post. I hope you guys enjoy this update - I already have the next two chapters of this written, so it won't be some ridiculous wait :(((  
Peace and love   
Ava x

It was Monday, and the tests were on Thursday morning - and this revelation was prevalent in the air. Roger was finding it increasingly hard to sleep each night, and judging by how awful the other three looked walking into school that morning, they were in the exact same boat. 

“You look like crap, dear.” Freddie chuckled as Roger walked towards the slightly older man. Roger rolled his eyes, but wore a smile on his face. 

“Not all of us prioritise putting on makeup in the morning.” Roger smirked, nudging Freddie gently, only to be caught in his grip as the older man pulled him closer. 

“Come over tonight?” Freddie questioned, eyeing him teasingly. “I’ll make sure you sleep well.” He smirked. 

“Oh - so, you won’t be sneaking into Brian’s room tonight?” Roger questioned, a small smile on his face. 

“I knew you were jealous.” Freddie whispered, his face far too close to Roger’s for the comfort of their school hallway. 

“Fred - back off. We’re not in your bedroom.” Roger whispered, seriousness in his tone. 

“Who cares?” Freddie responded, bitterness emanating from the usually positive man. “You and I both know we’ve got fours days left - just give up this act, Rog.” Freddie whispered, his tone harsh as he pushed himself off of Roger. Roger stood against the lockers for a moment, a bit shocked by Freddie outburst. He’d seen all of his friends have their fair share of moments in the last few weeks, but they just seemed to be becoming more frequent. Every part of him told him he should go after Freddie; but, at a time like this, he wasn’t sure it was going to do much good.

~~~~~~~~~

Roger had really hoped that the party would calm everyone down, but it seemed it just made everyone far more hypersensitive and volatile. When Freddie had suggested they convince John to come tonight, it was Roger that stepped in to ask before Freddie could make a mess of the situation, considering both men were less than calm at present. 

John had agreed, after much charm - and begging - from Roger, and had promised to meet at Freddie’s before they all went to the party. In waiting, Roger and Freddie stood in Freddie’s modest bedroom, Roger watching as Freddie applied products to his face that Roger couldn’t identify. 

“So…” Roger whispered, moving so he was lying on the edge of Freddie’s bed closest to his makeup table. Freddie glanced over at the younger man, giving him a questioning look. “You wanna talk about whatever was going on Monday?” Roger mumbled, this being the first time since then that he and Freddie had been alone. He heard as Freddie groaned softly, turning away from him. “Please, Fred - stuff is obviously bothering you; you’ll feel better if you get it off your chest.” Roger whispered. 

“What does it matter?” Freddie questioned. “This time tomorrow-” He began, clearly about to go on a tangent about their shared likelihood of passing their tests. 

“I don’t care about this time tomorrow; I care about right now - and I thought you did too.” Roger practically scolded, seeing in the mirror how Freddie’s face went a deeper shade of red than his blush had originally painted it. 

“You know… you’re a right asshole sometimes, darling.” Freddie teased, leaning back to aimlessly ‘smack’ at Roger behind him. 

“Yeah, yeah; maybe that’ll be a desirable trait - who knows?” Roger chuckled. “Now… tell me what’s up.” He added, deciding not to let Freddie change the subject so easily. Freddie let out another incredulous groan, before turning to Roger.

“You really wanna know?” He sighed. “I went to Brian’s the night before to… you know.” Freddie mumbled; Roger found himself smirking cheekily, but Freddie was doing nothing of the sort. “We did some stuff, and then… we started talking about the tests.” Freddie mumbled, unable to look at Roger. “Brian said that his father suggested he distance himself from me… you know, in preparation.” Freddie mumbled. A short silence fell over them, Roger a little unsure what to say - shocking considering how much he liked the sound of his own voice. “If the guy in charge already knows I don’t have what it takes… then why bother?” Freddie sighed loudly, putting down his little tubes that he still had in his hand and standing up. Roger could see in his face that he was about to cry. 

“Don’t cry; you’ve got stuff all over your eyes.” Roger chuckled, but his heart ached for Freddie. He stood to meet the older man eye-to-eye. “Freddie… love - it’s alright.” Roger assured. “I’m sure that Brian’s dad just meant to be careful around his friend this time of year - all of his friends.” The blonde tried his best to reassure Freddie; and if he wasn’t the very man in charge of his fate tomorrow, Roger would already be on his way to throw hands with Brian’s father. “Even if he didn’t - which I’m sure he did - maybe he just doesn’t know all that you’ve got in you.” Roger grinned, leaning up to peck Freddie’s nose; he watched as Freddie grinned softly. As much as Roger had no desire to date Freddie - or anyone for that matter - he could have happily spent everyday with him. They were a perfect pair, he thought. At that point, Roger’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Freddie’s doorbell ringing. He heard as Freddie’s mother made pleasant conversation before the sound of footsteps got louder and louder. Roger made quick of a gentle kiss to Freddie’s lips as the door opened. 

“Are we interrupting?” Brian questioned, pretending to shield his eyes. Roger simply rolled his eyes, given that he was pretty sure he and Freddie were doing the exact same thing. _One’s untimely premature death clearly did weird things to you._

“No, dear.” Freddie mumbled, moving over to Brian and John to pull him further inside and shut the door. “Did you two come together?” Freddie questioned, considering John and Brian didn’t live super close together. 

“Dad offered to pick John up; well, not actually pick him up - he’s a bit preoccupied tonight. But, he had _someone_ go pick him up.” Brian mumbled. Roger couldn’t help but internally scoff - for one, Brian nonchalance at having a chauffeur was not lost on Roger; and secondly, had Brian's father offered to pick John - and seemingly, only John - up, as he was the only of Brian’s friends he imagined would still be around the following day? It seemed the nuanced take Roger had on the matter was lost on Freddie, who simply seemed to be annoyed by the mention of Brian’s ‘driver’. 

“Mum doesn’t like it when I walk alone.” John mumbled; John’s mother’s worries were completely unwarranted considering how little crime prevailed in their ‘utopia’. “But, umm… she had to go to an induction evening - she’s volunteered to help at the check in station tomorrow.” John mumbled, eyes not meeting anything but the floor. Roger speculated that it was likely due to Roger and Freddie’s vocal distaste for the tests, and considering Brian had no grounds to oppose. Whilst Roger wasn’t exactly _ecstatic_ about John’s mother’s involvement - and he could practically feel Freddie vibrating with discourse - he decided that it wasn’t the time, nor place to cause a scene. 

“Come sit - you know Freddie’s not going to be ready anytime soon.” Roger chuckled, moving towards the bed, pulling Freddie away from the potential carnage as he did so. Before returning to his makeup table, Freddie made a beeline for his cupboard, opening it and practically climbing inside to reach something. As the three other boys sat down, Freddie pulled out a small and indistinguishable bottle. 

“What’s that?” John queried, squinting a little as Freddie came closer to them. 

“I don’t know, but I stole it from my father’s liquor cabinet.” Freddie smirked, giving them a toothy grin. Brian and John’s eyes widened as Roger’s smile grew. 

“Is he not going to notice?” Brian queried immediately. The sale of alcohol was heavily and strictly regulated, meaning everyone was only allowed a small amount. 

“God, no.” Freddie chuckled. “I’m not even sure why he bothers collecting his entitlements - not like he ever actually drinks it. He seems to be stock-piling it for god knows what reason.” Freddie smirked as he cracked open to the small bottle. “But, it means that we’ll be able to have our fun without _anyone_ realising.” He grinned, holding it up to his lips for a moment before taking a sizable swig. His face contorted for a moment as he handed the bottle to Roger. Roger chuckled as he did the same, coughing a little at the taste. 

“It tastes like cleaning products!” Roger exclaimed, face screwed up in disgust. He moved the bottle in John’s direction, only for the younger man to jump away from it like it was the plague. 

“No way!” John said loudly. “What if someone finds out? The tests are tomorrow!” 

“So?” Freddie chuckled. “We’re all going to die tomorrow - may as well have a good night.” He added, grinning as he took another sip. 

“I’m not…” John trailed off, unable to meet Freddie or Roger’s gazes. Roger could see in Freddie’s eyes that he was holding back a snide remark; he could see in John’s that he was holding back tears. 

“That’s right, John - you’re not.” Roger whispered, reaching to place his hand over the younger boy’s. 

“Oh, that’s just rich.” Freddie sighed, turning back towards the group after placing the bottle on the table. “For your sake, Rog - I hope that integrity isn’t a desirable trait; because, dear - you have none.” Freddie snapped. Roger looked up at him and shook his head a little. 

“Freddie - just let it go.” Roger mumbled, reaching out for the bottle and taking another sip. Freddie huffed loudly and reluctantly sat back down at his table to resume his makeup. The room remained generally silent as Freddie finished his makeup, the awkwardness in the air proving too much for the quartet. 

“It’s such a god-awful system.” Freddie muttered, practically out of nowhere, just as he was finishing his eye makeup. Roger looked up from where he’d been splayed out on Freddie’s bed, touching at John’s fine locks - the youngest of them sat nestled by Roger’s thigh.

“Care to elaborate?” He chuckled, looking at the older man. 

“Do I need to?” He mumbled. “Archaic and barbaric; every single person that condones and supports it are vile if you ask me.” Freddie added. Roger wasn’t sure whether it was an unabashed confidence in what may be his final moments, or the half-bottle of spirits making Freddie a little more loose-lipped than usual. He could see John glancing at Brian, whose entire family Freddie had basically just called morally inept. Brian wasn’t even looking to the older man anymore, as if he had long been over the topic of conversation. Roger let out a loud sigh, unsure whether to agree with Freddie’s bold statements or just keep quiet on the matter. 

“I get it.” Came John’s quiet voice from amongst them. Roger likely wouldn’t have known that it had been him if it hadn’t been the vibration he could feel from his hand on the younger boy’s back. Despite the lack of volume, all eyes were quickly on John. 

“What?” Freddie mumbled, brows furrowed as he swivelled to look at him. 

“I get why we live like this…” John mumbled, seemingly not the answer Freddie was expecting, considering how his face scrunched up further. “Have you ever gone hungry? Or been sick and not had medicine, or a doctor. We live in a very profitable society because of the sacrifices that people have made… and one day… we won’t have to… “John muttered, eyes low, knowing the gaze of disbelief that Freddie and Roger were most definitely giving him. 

“Who told you that?” Freddie mumbled. John looked up at Freddie a little confused. 

“What do you mean who told me? It’s all we’ve ever been told.” John mumbled, eyeing Brian, almost as if to plead for assistance. 

“Who told you that one day we won’t have to make these ‘sacrifices’?” Freddie questioned, seething sass running through his air quotations. 

“It’s just logic, I guess…” John whispered. “The tests were created in order to control the population and make sure there’s always enough resources for everyone. We’re reaching a point where there’s enough of everything for everyone again… my kids are never going to have to take those tests.” John said seriously, like it was something he banked on. Roger was a little torn; obviously, he didn’t agree with John - he didn’t take anything positive from the tests. On the other hand, he felt bad for John - he believed so vehemently in this idea that life after this was ‘happily ever after’, and he knew that’s what he wanted for John. He could see the way Freddie struggled to contain himself, his mouth opening to begin his tirade. 

“Are you ready to go?” Roger mumbled, pushing himself to a seated position, arm finding comfort around John’s middle. Freddie just rolled his eyes as he pushed himself away from his table, moving to angrily put shoes on. “Calm down, Fred.” Roger muttered, eyeing him as the other three men stood also. 

“Keep it in your pants, Rog.” Freddie muttered back, eyeing him just the same. Roger rolled his eyes, attributing Freddie’s behaviour to his frustrations and jealousy. He gestured his head towards the door, Freddie moving ahead of the pack and down to his front door. Freddie lived the closest to where the party was being held, so the swift walk across the block had them arriving at the location. The party - already in full swing by the seems of it - was a sea of large tents and the sound of music. They reached a large gate, offering their names and being ushered through to where several hundred kids were milling around. It seemed, however, that no one was exactly “partying”. 

“Well, this is bleak.” Freddie muttered, looking around, a little uninspired. 

“I could have stayed home and studied.” John muttered, looking around with a confused look of panic. 

“If you’d just had a drink!” Freddie said loudly, causing John to lunge at him with a little too much force. 

“Stop it!” John snapped, his eyes teary and crazed. “You might not care about this, but I do; and I won’t let you get me in trouble!” He said loudly, hands grasped tightly on Freddie’s arms. Roger looked between the pair of them and Brian, all of them frozen with wide eyes. 

“Woah.” Brian whispered, causing Roger to spring into action. 

“Alright - let’s go grab something to eat, yeah?” Roger whispered, standing just centimetres from where John was still holding onto Freddie. After a few moments with no movement, Roger gently placed his hand on the small of John’s back. “Come on, John.” Roger whispered, close enough to the younger man for his breath to hit John’s neck. John turned slowly, eyeing Roger up and down - still looking panicked. Roger opened his arm to John, allowing the younger man to walk towards him. Roger shuffled away with John, trying to remove him from the situation the best he could, despite the knowledge that it was all John was thinking about. As he walked away he saw Freddie and Brian exchange glances, which for the life of him, he could not place. 

When he and John reached the tents set up with some catered dinner, Roger noticed how badly John was shaking. 

“You cold? Or scared?” He questioned, his hand making gentle circles on John’s lower back. 

“Both.” John practically squeaked, eyeing the platters of food in abundance before them. Roger stayed silent for a moment, reaching forward to grab two plates, handing one to John. They picked out food in silence, Roger trying to stop himself from staring John up and down - out of worry for his friend’s wellbeing. 

“Do you want to go back to Brian and Freddie?” Roger questioned, once both boys had a full plate and had stepped out from beneath the tent. John was quick to shake his head, Roger simply nodding in understanding as he ushered the younger man away. They found a space at a small picnic table, Roger sitting down and allowing John to sit and squish himself into Roger. Roger was quickly coming to realise that the younger man found much comfort in being as close to Roger as possible. The pair ate in silence for a while, and it wasn’t until their plates were practically empty that John spoke up. 

“Are you not scared?” John whispered, looking up at Roger through wispy lashes. Roger looked down at him, his grip on the younger man tightening. 

“I don’t know… I guess so.” Roger admitted, allowing the space between them to fall silent. “I feel like I flip between being absolutely terrified, and figuring that if it’s my time to go, then… oh, well.” Roger muttered, allowing a chuckle to escape his lips. Roger saw a John gave in to a small smile. 

“If you’re terrified, you never show it.” John admitted, the curvature of his smile not disappearing. 

“I know…” Roger mumbled, his own lips remaining upturned. “I figure that I owe it to everyone else to seem calm; for you, and Brian… Freddie.” He muttered, eyes downcast at the thought. “My mum…” Roger added. “She’s lost everyone… I like to give her less to worry about, even if it is a false hope… she shouldn’t have to grieve for me any sooner than necessary.” Roger whispered, but he didn’t allow his voice to become solemn. 

“You’re an incredible person, Roger.” John said softly, their eyes still locked on each, as if the party was no longer happening around them. 

“I wouldn’t say that.” Roger chuckled, subconsciously tracing small circles over where he had been gripping John’s shoulder. 

“Yeah…” John reassured. “I’m terrified, and I have never thought to worry about anyone else. All I’ve been concerned with for the last four years is whether I’m coming out on the other end tomorrow.” John admitted, unable to stop himself from letting out a quiet chuckle. 

“That’s not true - you get mad at me for not studying.” Roger chuckled, grinning down at John. 

“But, that’s just with you - s’not like I’m keeping it together for anyone else’s sake.” John said softly, leaning himself even further into Roger before bounding back up to continue talking. “And the only reason I stress is because I don’t think I’ll cope without you - which is still selfish.” John mumbled, looking to the ground guiltily. 

“You don’t think you’ll cope without me?” Roger queried, sounding very genuinely shocked and confused. Sure, John was stressed in a time like this, but for him to so openly admit that he felt he “needed” Roger, was not something the older man was expecting. 

“Yeah…” John mumbled, suddenly a little self-conscious. “You somehow manage to stop me from going crazy… even though I kind of just attacked Freddie.” John muttered, causing Roger to laugh out loud. 

“It’s alright - I’m sure he liked the drama.” Roger chuckled, but noticed John was still in his previous mind frame. “You alright?” He asked lightly, letting his hand slip from John’s shoulder to his hip. 

“I really need you, Rog. You make me feel safe.” John admitted, blushing

“Oh, I do?” Roger chuckled, smiling cheeky as he wiggled his eyebrows in John’s direction; but, he saw no hint of amusement on John’s face. The boy looked serious and focused, eyes locked with Roger’s as he leant forward and pressed their lips together. Roger stayed steady, knowing that pulling back or getting too carried away was not want John needed right now. It was only a few moments before John pulled away, his mouth a gape. 

“I’m so sorry…” John whispered, bringing his hands up to his mouth in shock. “I don’t know why I did that - I didn’t mean to do that. God, Rog; I-” He rambled, Roger deciding to cut him off for his own sake. 

“It’s alright, John - relax.” Roger assured, smiling sweetly at the younger man. “This bullshit makes us all a little crazy.” He chuckled. “But if this time tomorrow, you still think that was a good idea.” He smirked, leaning over to peck John’s lips for just a second. “I’d quite like that.”


End file.
